Saying Goodbye
by MistressOfTheWinter
Summary: Set after the Library and after the Doctor has had all of his adventures with River.


**Yet again, another idea that refuses to get out of my head until I type it up. Set after the Library and after the Doctor has had all of his adventures with River.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who nor any of its lovely characters…I do, however, own a tiny lego Cyberman :)**

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><p>The Doctor stepped out of the TARDIS doors and was greeted with the smell of freshly cut grass and the chill of the late autumn evening. The sun had almost set, casting long shadows over the headstones that dotted the rolling hillside. Despite the group of people that surrounded a newly placed gravestone, the only sound was the rustle of dying leaves that threatened to fall from the trees.<p>

The Doctor hated funerals. It was like saying a final goodbye, and he would never, _ever_ say goodbye to her. Saying goodbye would be admitting that he would never see her again, that she was gone forever, and that was something he refused to accept. He would keep her alive through the memories of their danger-filled adventures and long nights that they kept only for themselves.

He watched them from a distance- most of them students come to say goodbye to their curly-haired professor who would never return from a silent library. There were tears and strained smiles that never quite reached the eye and apart from the occasional meaningless, forced conversation, everyone was silent.

Eventually they all began to leave until only a red-haired Scottish woman, her husband and a small child no older than four were left. The Doctor shoved his hands in his pockets and slowly walked over to them where he was greeted with a nod from Rory, which was the only thing he could muster, and then by Amy who threw her arms around him and immediately broke into sobs on his tweed jacket. He wanted nothing more than to tell her that everything would be okay, that they would figure out a way to bring her back, but he didn't feel it was the right moment for Rule One.

He closed his eyes briefly, feeling the sting of tears behind his eyes. When he opened them he focused his attention over Amy's shoulder on the small boy- he had a head full of floppy brown hair and was now kneeling in front of the headstone and having an almost inaudible one-sided conversation with it.

He broke his embrace with Amy and knelt beside the boy; briefly glancing over the words engraved into the marble headstone and was disappointed to find something so generic.

"River Song. Loving Daughter, Wife and Mother."

He felt his hearts skip a beat. Mother.

_Mother._

He turned to Amy and Rory as if looking for answers but they offered him none. He looked back at the little boy who was now watching him with achingly familiar blue-green eyes and found he could do nothing but open and close his mouth uselessly, his words having temporarily left him.

The Doctor took in the sight of him- floppy brown hair that stuck up rebelliously in a few places, a jacket that was slightly too big, the sleeves going past his little hands, and a bow tie fastened loosely around his small neck. He had her eyes, those beautifully deep eyes that could change from blue to green and back again. He felt his hearts tighten as he looked into those eyes and saw the pain of losing the person he loved most- the person who picked him up when he fell, who told him wonderful stories about a man in a blue box, who protected him from his nightmares and who loved him with every inch of her being.

He had no clue where to start so introducing himself seemed like the best idea, getting as far as "I'm the Doc-," before he was cut off by the voice of the small boy, "I know who you are. Mummy told me everything about you."

Despite himself, he smiled slightly. "Everything, huh?" The boy nodded matter of factly and turned his attention back to the gravestone. "She's gone forever, isn't she?" he asked, voice barely above a whisper as tears tracked down his cheeks.

The Doctor pulled him into a comforting embrace and almost broke as he felt the boy wrap his tiny arms around his neck and cry until he finally pulled away and wiped his tears on the sleeve of his jacket. "She'll never be gone as long as you keep her alive in here," the Doctor pointed to the left side of the boy's chest where his heart should be, then smiled slightly and pointed to the right side of his chest, adding as an afterthought, "and here, too."

"You know," the Doctor started after a few moments of silence, "I've been travelling by myself for the longest time, and to be honest it gets quite lonely. If you want, you could come with me; we could go anywhere and everywhere throughout all of time and space." He stood and held out his hand for the boy to take, "Just you and me. What do you think?"

The boy glanced over at the impossible blue box that was sitting on the grass in the distance, then looked back at the Doctor and smiled for the first time he had in days- his mother always told him that if he was ever given the opportunity to travel the stars he should take it and never look back, and as he took his father's hand, that's exactly what he did.

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><p><strong>Thank you for reading.<strong>

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